Home Depot

So I'm in the Home Depot bathroom, minding my own business (quite literally). And the dude in the stall next to me starts calling someone on his cell phone, using its speakerphone function. When the other person finally picks up, it's a receptionist for some business. In an affected super-nerd voice, he asks her where the nearest bathroom is. She recognizes who he is, presumably because this is some kind of standard joke between them. He then says it's been a long time since they talked, and he asks what's new with her. She says she's pregnant. The tone of his response doesn't reveal any shock at this news, although what he goes on to say does. He asks her about the father and she says it's some new guy she's dating. The dude then proceeds to try and woo her, although I don't think that's exactly the right word for what it is (because she's not really in a position to be wooed at this point, and because what he says doesn't exactly amount to any kind of proposal). He says that if he were the father, they would move in together and try and make something of it. They would see how it goes. He declares that that's what having a kid calls for. Or, as he puts it, "because that's what a kid is, a kid". She couldn't be less interested in what he's saying at this point. He asks if he can see her after she has the kid, and she doesn't really respond to the question. He ends the call by saying that they should try doing the whole friend thing. And, once again, he says that if they do the whole friend thing, they would see how it goes.

What made the whole situation totally absurd what that she had to have known that he was in the bathroom the whole time, and in a public bathroom at that. Other people flushed their toilets early in the conversation, and I intentionally flushed mine when he started his quasi-wooing. And he himself flushed his toilet towards the end of the conversation.